cecurley

"every living creature on earth dies alone." i have come to realize that this world is impossible to fully understand yet as i'm sitting here typing this, i am in a completely tranquil state i could not be more at peace with the world. it's hard to breathe, but he's told me that the more you think, the less real it is sometimes all i can do is think i want to share my thoughts with the world, i want to make a difference but i'm only one person, what can i do? there's so much beauty in the world people don't realize this despite war, poverty, racism, all that bullshit if everyone could just realize what i've realized the world wo

i absolutely need to write this down i am not exaggerating in the slightest my mind is overburdened with these feelings of pure ecstasy this is a crude example but my heart feels like a balloon there's so much pressure on it i feel like it's going to explode i'm trying to tell myself to relax, but i truly, honestly can't. i am experiencing the most amazing body high and the best thing is my drug is him i need to run i want to go outside, in the blistering cold just to make sure this is real i feel so light headed i'm on the verge of passing out, it seems it doesn't sound pleasant, i know but this is pure bliss to me euph

this man that is now in my life, is all i could've ever asked for. all i ever wanted, and he wants the same as me. he just wants to be loved i know i've said this before but i think i'm in love. this man is absolutely flawless both physically and mentally. in my eyes at least i want him to know that he is the one. he believes i would leave, for another he doesn't know.. he doesn't know how much.. i care so deeply for him. i have never had these feelings. when i see his smile, and i know that it was caused by me my heart will flutter in my chest and when i can see him looking straight at me, it leaves me breathless. without wo

the things that altered my mind made me do terrible things. i believed i had to give up everything for him i needed the drugs just to be able to stand being with him i told myself i loved him and that he loved me back what the fuck kind of adult goes on the internet looking for 14 year old girls the plant made me believe that this was okay. six years apart? that's nothing compared to some people you wanted me to be a fucking housewife you made me cry on that one day.. three times physically, mentally, emotionally.. they might as well all be the same fucking thing you had hurt me, so badly fucking idiot, pothead, you're fucking r

just for so much shit that i had to deal with, it was all worth it. i actually lived through it and happy isn't the word.. if i had given up on myself, i would've never met you. i don't want to sound cliche, but to someone else, this would sound too good to be true you've made me feel like i'm someone and when you make me smile i feel like i'm unstoppable. invincible, i guess. as long as i have you nothing can hurt me.

cause saying no has never got me anywhere. i remember there was a calender of naked girls hanging up on your wall. you lied to me. i had been lied to before, but not like this sit in your lap? it's okay, you can do that i'm helpless anyway i can't do shit eight against fifty who's to argue against that? not me. i trusted you i actually still liked you after that but they didn't. to be honest i developed a weird kind of stockholm syndrome the touchee loves the toucher. not love like a signifigant other i thought i should clarify like an uncle or something. i don't know what's left of me but you can fuck it if you want.

wake drink work home drink piss drink piss drink stupor drink die what a vicious circle the navy must have changed him maybe it was the drinking that's called sarcasm this person can't be my father i feel no love towards him i feel only pity he died a long time ago he can never be happy again, unless he gets to that point where it doesn't matter what he says all that matters is having a good time you think a tattoo is showing love? a mere hug, affection? fuck this.

ignorance is bliss i wish i was a child again when i didn't know what dying really meant when i thought the moon was following me when tomorrow didn't mean disaster, and yesterday was always the best day ever.

happy new year i need you why aren't you here? i've always wanted someone. now i have someone. someone wants me for me, every part what did i do to deserve this? my heart aches constantly. i want to be able to be next to someone, always i don't want to be a burden but when someone leaves, no matter for how long, i miss them i really do think i need this someone my feelings ran from my eyes into theirs euphoria. i trust you i love you.. but who knows nowadays what love is? thrown around by children who think their week-long relationships will last forever but i know this can last it has to mere miles and time our enemies